i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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