just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
