Non-Jews are for practice
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
