They should really pass out barf bags in church
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
