I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
