he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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