4 words: hood of his car
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
