the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
