Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
