well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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