Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
