the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
