What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize