someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
