whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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