You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
