All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
