I'm going to jail i love you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
