Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
