I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
