it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
