Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
