the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
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You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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