Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
