What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
