she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
