Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize