belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
