Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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