one word: firstdatebathroomanal
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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