when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I met the friendliest cop last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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