I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
