at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
