I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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