either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
