this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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