yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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