I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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