all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I came so hard my ears popped.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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