Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
