I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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