I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
