I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
