it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
