so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize