He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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