So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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