the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it's like iHOP with fire
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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