Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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