Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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