what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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