everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
