Where did you get a picture of my penis
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
