I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...