Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.