Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you win again, gameday.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.