I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
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After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.