yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!