But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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