i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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