Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
