My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
