Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
