That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
