I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize