i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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