So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
