isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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